400-600 words total. Must be satirical but serious tone, using fictional sources, etc. Must be within 400-600 words. Let's aim about 500 words. Structure: lead paragraph, then

Hintergrund

section, then

Reaktionen aus dem In- und Ausland

, then

Ausblick

. Include fictional sources like "Ein Mitarbeiter des Bundesamtes für zentrale Ermittlungen, der anonym bleiben wollte, bestätigte..." etc. Need to keep satirical but serious tone, no explicit jokes, absurdist contrast. STORY_EN similar length 400-600 words.